Unmasking Mother's Rage: The Journey to Healing and Empowerment
I was fine. I was absolutely fine. Until I wasn’t. I remember trying so hard to be the perfect mum. To be gentle and patient. I could last for days sometimes. But then one small insignificant thing could lead to an eruption of rage that seemed to come from nowhere. Followed swiftly of course by guilt.
I know I’m not the only Mum who has experienced this. Many mothers can struggle with a deep sense of rage that can be overwhelming and puzzling. However, when we explore the emotions underlying this rage, we uncover a profound truth: Mother rage is often a symptom of unmet needs and unaddressed wounds.
Under the rage there are the hidden layers- feelings of isolation, invisibility, powerlessness, disconnection, and lack of support. In addition this rage can be rooted in the pain carried by generations of oppressed women, leading to the concept known as the "Mother Wound." By embarking on a journey of self-healing and empowerment, we mums not only transform our own lives but also contribute to the healing of our ancestors and future generations.
Unveiling the Emotions
Everyone is different of course but when I look back to my early years of Motherhood these are the emotions that stand out for me. I invite you read them slowly and see if they resonate with you too.
Feeling Isolated: Motherhood can be an isolating experience, as the demands of caring for a child often leave little time for socializing or nurturing personal connections. The sense of being emotionally detached from others can intensify feelings of frustration and anger.
Feeling Unseen: Mothers often pour their hearts and souls into their role, yet their efforts may go unnoticed or unappreciated. The feeling of being unseen can lead to resentment and anger, as the immense dedication and sacrifices made for their family remain unrecognized.
Feeling Unheard: Mothers may struggle with a sense of not being heard or understood. Their opinions, concerns, and needs might be dismissed or disregarded, creating a deep well of frustration and anger within them.
Feeling Powerless: The demands and responsibilities of motherhood can sometimes leave mothers feeling overwhelmed and powerless. The lack of control over their own lives can fuel rage, as they yearn for a sense of agency and autonomy.
Feeling Disconnected: In our fast-paced world, mothers can experience a disconnection from their own sense of identity and purpose. Losing touch with their own desires and passions can give rise to a deep-seated anger that stems from the loss of self.
Feeling Unsupported: The absence of a supportive network or inadequate support systems can leave mothers feeling overwhelmed and alone. The lack of assistance in shouldering the responsibilities of motherhood can contribute to feelings of anger and resentment.
The Mother Wound
It was years later that I learned about the Mother Wound. This concept recognizes that the pain experienced by mothers today is not solely our own but also echoes the pain of generations of oppressed women. Centuries of gender inequalities, societal expectations, and limited opportunities have left an indelible mark on the collective consciousness of women. This ancestral pain can be passed down through generations, often surfacing as unexplained anger and rage within us.
The Path to Healing
Healing the Mother's Wound begins with recognizing and acknowledging the underlying emotions and wounds. By embarking on a journey of self-healing and empowerment, mothers can transform their lives and contribute to the healing of their ancestors and of their daughters. But where do we start?
Put Yourself First: We Mums are not very good at this but it is so important that we prioritize our own well-being and self-care. Take the time to identify and address your needs, whether it be through energy therapy, counselling, self-reflection, or engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Listen: Practice active self-listening and validate your emotions. Give yourself permission to express your feelings and seek support when necessary.
Witness Your Pain: Engage in introspection and explore the deeper layers of your rage. Allow yourself to process and release the pain that may have been carried through generations. Hold yourself in Self compassion as you do this.
Empower Yourself: Reclaim your sense of power and agency. Take steps to assert your needs, set boundaries, and make choices that align with your authentic self.
Follow Your Guidance: Trust your intuition and inner wisdom. Seek guidance from mentors, role models, or spiritual practices that resonate with you, helping you navigate your journey of healing and self-discovery.
Support Yourself: Cultivate a support system that understands and acknowledges your experiences. Connect with other mothers who are on a similar path, forming a community where you can share, learn, and grow together.
I believe that by healing ourselves, we mums become agents of healing, not only for our own lives but also for the past and future generations of women. As part of this transformative journey, we contribute to restoring balance and nurturing a world where mothers and their needs are truly seen, heard, and supported.
How cool is that!
The Aligned Mama Membership doors are now open. The memberships offers opportunity for healing, for empowerment and for connection with other mums on the same path. You don’t have to do this alone.
Click here to learn more about the Aligned Mama Membership