How Our Core Beliefs Shape Our Motherhood Experience
I am useless. I am failing. I’m not capable. I am weak. I am bad. I’m no fun. I’m stupid. I’m lazy.
These are some examples of the thoughts that went through my head on a daily basis in the early years of my Motherhood journey.
They felt very true to me, and the evidence was clear, as I compared myself to all my mum friends. I obviously wasn’t cut out for Motherhood.
I look back on my younger self now and I think God she was great. So capable, So wise. So strong. So good.
So why did I speak to myself so cruelly?
Well I now understand that Motherhood and it’s challenges has a beautiful way of unmasking our core beliefs. Core beliefs are deeply rooted convictions that significantly influence our perceptions, behaviours, and our experience of life
Understanding Core Beliefs:
Core beliefs are the foundational assumptions we hold about ourselves, the world, and others. These deeply ingrained convictions shape our thoughts, emotions, and actions, serving as the lenses through which we interpret the world. Formed early in life, influenced by our upbringing and experiences, these beliefs become integral to our identity.
For example if as a child you were regularly told to be quiet, you may hold the core belief that your opinion doesn’t matter. This may influence your ability to be assertive, even with your own children
If as a child you were shamed for being ‘lazy’ you may feel shame as an adult when you are attempting to tackle the never ending household chores we have as Mums
If as a child you felt you had no control in your life, as an adult when your own child refuses to do what they are asked , this old belief is triggered again. I am helpless, I have no control
If you were a good girl. If you did everything to secure your parents’ attention and affection, but were still ignored, you may have a core belief I’m not good enough. This now is easily triggered in Motherhood because of the unrealistic standards we set for ourselves
Anyway you get the gist!
Now these core beliefs can have a massive impact on how we experience life!
Imagine if you wore dark glasses all day everyday. You would quite rightly believe the world to be a dark place, especially if you had forgotten that you have the choice to take them off! When you finally remove the lenses you've been looking through, the world can seem like a very different place. But the reality is.... the world didn't change, your perception did
When we remove the core beliefs that colour our perception, we can experience motherhood and life in a very different way.
So what can we do with the this information?
Well the good news is that every time you become aware of a core belief you have an opportunity to change it
And the more core beliefs we uncover, the more peaceful we feel within.
This is the healing journey of an Aligned Mama!
We have the power to change our core beliefs.
We also have the power to help foster positive core beliefs in our children
How to change a Core Belief
While core beliefs are deeply ingrained, they are not fixed. Recognizing and challenging negative core beliefs is a transformative step towards shaping a positive motherhood experience. Self-awareness is crucial; understanding our triggers and being mindful of automatic responses allows us to interrupt the cycle of passing on potentially harmful beliefs to our children.
Step 1 . Identify a core belief that is showing itself in your life. Click here to access Free Journal Prompts to help you identify the core beliefs that are holding you back.
Step 2: Choose a new belief and search for evidence to support this belief every single day.
Eg. If your journaling uncovered a limiting belief 'I am lazy'. Every time you do something that is clearly not lazy, take note! Awareness is your super power here.
Fostering Positive Core Beliefs
Aligned motherhood involves fostering constructive core beliefs in ourselves and our children. By cultivating self-compassion, promoting a growth mindset, and encouraging resilience, we can create an environment that nurtures confident, emotionally intelligent individuals.
Don't underestimate the power of doing this inner work. It is the path to a more peaceful and rewarding Motherhood experience.
Comments
Fiona Milton said:
Love your blog, I absolutely love the wearing the dark glasses and forgetting that we have a choice to take them off..also the use of positive vocabulary to support out past selves and memories so to help us heal and understand better that we are always learning 🙏..thanks Oonagh 😊
February 07, 2024